And I Quote
by Kimboolinaa
Summary: Random OneShots made from Random Quotes! Enjoy! Dramione! Blaise/OC & Ginny/TheoNott
1. Surprise!

**Okay, So, random one-shots, based on a number of wacky quotes that I have heard in my time (which isn't that long), so enjoy :D VERY OOC!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything... I think...**

QUOTE:: Kidnapping Sounds wrong. I prefer: Suprise Adoption...

MALFOY MANOR

"So. Any questions loyal and scary followers?" I asked.

"Yes, m'lord-"

"Man! Lucuis! Chillax! And how many times have I told you! It's Voldy!"

"Well, erm... Voldy... can you run through the plan again, I was distracted by your new...fashion sense."

I looked down. I was wearing neon green robes, and had spray painted neon pink spots all over them. I was wearing green contacts, too. I looked back at Lucius..

"Weelllll, my plan, Luci-Duci, is that we sneak into Hogwarts, wearing my newly designed outfits, and take Harry Potter from his bed, and ask him if he wants to join out cool hipsters gang!" I said, trying to do that cool thing with my hand, y'know the one, where when you wave it about and it clicks? Yeah, that one! It's WELL WICKED! Wait, do people still say that? Oh well, it's back in fashion!

"So, we are basically kidnapping Harry Potter?"

"Luci-Duci! Kidnapping sounds wrong. I prefer: Surprise Adoption..."

"Well, I'm in Voldy! I think this is gunna be really cool!" Bella said.

I grinned at her.

"Yay! LOL! I learnt some young-youth slang, y'know, to fit in. Wait. When I do my super-dooper huge smile, does it make my nose look big?"

"No! Of course is doesn't! You look fab-u-tastic!" Avery shouted.

"Thanks mate!"

"But...Voldy...Won't they find us the slightest suspisious?" Luci-Duci said.

"Maaaaannn! LUCI-DUCI! Don't put a damper on things! They will think we're some weird trick that those Wesley twins have done!"

"They are the Weasley twins, Voldy. And I'll join on one condition. I can call you MoldyVoldy. Or MoldyShorts. Or...something random like that."

"Okay, sure Drake. My main man!"

"Cool Moldy!"

"I like that... maybe i will die my hair a moldy green..."

"You don't have hair Voldy," Narcissa pipped up.

"Well, Cissy, if your son can get that girl Granger to tell him a hair growing potion, I can use that. Drake and that Granger should go out! Opposites attract! Have you told him that?"

"Of course Voldy! He likes her, but Luci doesn't want his only son to be with a muggleborn!"

"Luci! Man! What's wrong with your old fashioned ways! The new me says that everyone is equal and everyone has to eat maltesers! They are YUMMY! Oh! And skittles! And starburst!"

"This new Voldy is cool!"

"He's the best!"

"Go Voldy!" They started to chant.

"Lets go and ask Harry Potter to join us!"

"YEAAAAAHHHHHH!"

**AN HOUR LATER**

"Hey, Voldy, why didn't we just apparate?"

"I wanted the whole world to see my new style, and it gives us some exercise!"

"True."

When we got to the front of the castle, Dumbledore was standing, looking protective.

"Hey! Dumbley-Dore! Can we speak to Harry? We want him to join our crew! We treat everyone like equals, eat maltesers, skittles and lots of starburst! Oh, and maybe some tangfastics..."

Dumbley-Dore stood in, well, it looked like shock.

"COME IN! I'VE WAITED FOR THIS MY WHOLE LIFE! I KNEW YOU'D BE COOL ONE DAY!"

"Than you Dumbley-Dore! We all love you! Group hug!"

I pounced on Dumbley-Dore, and soon everyone else followed.

"Lead the way, Dumbley-Dore!"

Dumbley-Dore led the way to the Gryffindorks coomon room.

"Password!" The fat lady yodelled.

"PingPongHolySocks!"

The portrait swung open, and I smiled.

"There sure have some cool passwords now..."

We all ran up to the boys dorm, apart from Cissy who wanted to talk about Drakey boy to Granger Girl and Bella who wanted to ask Lav-Lave-That Brown girl about a hair brush.

"HARRY POTTER!" I yelled.

The poor lad fell out his bed. I never knew I had such good vocals.

"Huh! Who, what - VOLDER-"

"IT'S VOLDY, DUDE!"

"Erm...Voldy..."

"We want you to join our gang! We treat everyone as equals, and eat lots of sweets like maltesers, skittles, startburst, tangfastics, and erm... pizza!"

I looked at The chosen one who was looking at me like i'm weird. Which happens alot.

"Oh and I'm sorry for killing your parents. They were getting on my nerves, because they kept on trying to kill me. I mean, who wouldn't get tired of that? Actually, they were quite nice people...So, what do you say Potter?"

"Okay then!"

"YAAAY! I shall now call you... HAZZA POTTY!"

"OKAYY MOLDYVOLDY!"

"Come to our lair, and leave the Weasel. His hair doesn't match the decorations."

We skipped down to the common room, were Cissy was standing with Granger, Weaslette and Bella was standing with Brown.

"LET'S GOOOOOOOO!"

We all held hands and ran out of the Gryffindorks common room, and all the way back to Malfoy Manor - my den.

"We have some phat beats from our DJ MRRR BLAISE BLAZING ZABINI!"

Then the Mark Ronson song 'BangBangBang' came on and we all started doing the Conga.

"So, Luci-Duci, you see, my plan worked!"

"You still kidnapped Harry Potter."

I sighed. " Luci-Duci-Puci-McCousci... It's HAZZA POTTY, and it wasn't kidnapping! It was a Surprise Adoption!"

**Thanks for Reading... REVIEW! I'll update soon ;)**


	2. Insults Suck

**IN MEMORY OF SNOWBELL THE GUINEA PIG, WHO DIED ON THE 18/4/11**

Insults Suck.

Hermione Granger was sitting on the fields of Hogwarts. Reading. No surprise there then. She was enjoying her book, getting lost in her fantasy world until-

"Hey! Granger!"

She looked up and saw Draco Malfoy walking towards her.

_What does he want?_ She thought.

He was being followed by his 'friends', Blaise Zabini, and Theodore Nott.

"What, Malfoy?" Hermione asked, an edge to her voice.

It was the year after the War, and most 7th year students had returned to repeat their last year. That included her and her friend Kimberley (**A/N:This could be me...:D**).

"Wow! So rude! I only wanted to ask, if you wanted to have a little match."

"What type?" she asked curious.

"An Sarcastic match." He smirked.

"Sure. But since there is three people on your team, I want three people on mine."

Drao nodded, and Hermione waved over Kimberley, and Ginny Weasley.

Kimberley was mixed-race, and had long dark brown curly hair. She wore glasses, but only the best types, and was a bit of a bookworm like Hermione. We all know Ginny Weasley. Fiery, loud red-head, who could get a little crazy sometimes.

"What's up, 'Mione?" Kimberley asked, eyeing all three boys up and down, telling them with her eyes to '_Bring it_'.

"Malfoy has challenged me to a sarcasm match. And I have to have my girls with me."

"Obviously!" Ginny said, grinning.

Sarcasticness, was the girls speciality.

"Okay..Kimberley...You start..." Malfoy said.

Kimberley looked at the three boys and took a step forward. She was holding her gaze, with Blaise Zabini, and smiled at him, sweetly.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, god made me pretty...what happened to you?" She said, walking around Blaise whilst she spoke.

Once she had done a full circle, she stood back next to Hermione, hand on hip, smiling.

Blaise growled at her.

"Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?" She questioned, and got a giggle from Hermione.

Draco looked at Hermione.

"I called your boyfriend gay, and her hit me with his purse." Malfoy said, smirking.

"A good girl is just a bad girl who has never been caught." Hermione said, looking around as if she wasn't interested.

"Boys are like lava lamps," Ginny said, looking at Theo. "Fun to look at but not very bright..."

"A Gryffindors will jump off a cliff. Slytherins will just find somebody else to push off."

The boys chuckled, while the girls raised an eyebrow, with a hand on their hip of course.

"Hermione Granger has PMS and a wand." Malfoy said.

"Draco Malfoy thinks he's most emo boy in Hogwarts."

"Siruis Black was killed by drapery!"

"Bellatrix Lestrange wants a new hairbrush!"

"Don't hate Slytherins because we're beautiful, hate us because we kick your butt at everything."

"Slytherins are future Death Eaters."

"Did you not forget Peter Pettigrew was a Gryffindor and he was a Death Eater."

"Hm"

"Can't think of any insults Granger? I knew I'd win."

"Sorry Malfoy, I didn't realise that grown men take joy in winning tiny competitions."

"Jealous much?"

"Of you?" She snorted. "Yeah right."

"Only because you lost Granger, only because you lost..."

Kimberely was sitting on the field, getting to know Blaise. Theo and Ginny had disappeared, to who knows where.

"They will end up snogging." Blaise whispered to Kimberley as they watched the show.

"Hmm, yeah. To much tension."

"Definately."

**This ones a bit :/ but enjoy it anyway...These characters will be back :D**


	3. Cookieeeessssss!

**Let me see...**

We have cookies!

Lord Voldermort was thinking. Shock. I know.

His last plan (See chapter one) was working so well!

Drake (his main man) and Granger secretly (pssht! Yeah right! It was sooo obvious!) dating, and Dj 'Blaizin' Blaise Zabini had started up a friendship with Miss Kimberley (See chapter two).

But then, everything went wrong. WEASEL!

Ronald Weasley got jealous. And got these troll like humungo-sized people to wizard-nap HAZZA POTTY! It was a sad, sad day. He also too Granger and Kimbooooooo! It was horrible!

"I have a plan!" Voldermort (he had gone all quite and shy after that incident - no cool outfits or names) yelled, jumping up and down in his seat, clapping his hands.

Okay. Maybe not so quite.

"What is it My Lord?" Bellatrix asked, trying to pull the brush Lave-Brown gave her through her hair.

"We need cookies!"

And that was the plan in place.

**Hogwarts... :D**

"Join the Dark side!"

"We have cookies!"

"We don't curse you!"

"Unless you steal The Dark Lord's pink fluffy bunny teddy!"

"It's called Aurora!"

"Join the Dark side!"

This was literally all you could hear from the students of Slytherin. And Hermione Granger. And Kimberley. And Hazza Potty. And Dumbley-Dore. And some random first year kid. And some random fifth year kid. And Ginny Weasel. Sorry, Weasley.

Luckily, for some reason, that day, was Join the Dark Side Day. And It was Voldermort's favourite EVER day.

Anywho. In the Great Hall, everyone was sitting at their tables. Draco Malfoy, staring at Hermione Granger. Blaise Zabini staring at Kimberley. And Theo Nott staring at Ginny Weasel. I mean Weasley.

And then the doors burst open.

"Hey! Dumbley-Dore! Wagwarnnnnnn!"

Voldermort walked with...swag...down the middle of the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables.

"Hey! Voldy! Wagwarnnnnnnnnnnn!"

They (Voldy & Dumbley) did this lil' hand shake (clap, slap, safe, walk like a bad-man, BRAAAPPPP!) and laughed.

"Soooo...Dumbley, can I take my students now?"

"Sure. Just remember to bring me back a plate of cookies. Cuz I can't come because I'm busy teaching. But I'll visit every weekend!"

"Okay-Dokey-Tiddley-Pokey! Hermione! Drake! Blaise! Kimberley! Theo! Ginny! Random first year! Random fifth year! Come with meeeeeee!

And that was Voldy's GENIUS plan for today.


	4. Did you know?

**Bit of fluff for you :D**

Hermione's fun fact for today...

I, Kimberley, was in love. Well...I think it's love.

Hermione has been annoying me all day. She is in love with Draco Malfoy, and they are dating. And she keeps on spouting off all these facts. She does that. Because she's weird like that.

"Did you know kissing is healthy?" she asked while were sat outside with Draco and Blaise.

"Well, do you want me to make you even healthier?" Draco said, before kissing her.

I rolled my eyes and looked at Blaise.

"We predicted this to happen!"

"I know." He said.

"Because we're clever like that."

"Uh-huh..."

I couldn't help thiking Blaise was distracted.

Anyway. I didn't tell you who I think I'm in love with.

*Cough-cough*

I, Kimberley, think I'm in love with...

"Did you know boys insult you when they like you?"

"Arghhh Hermione!" I yelled.

"What!"

"Sorry. You interrupted my thinking."

"Anywho, yes, I knew that fact, I've been insulting you for the past 7 years, why do you think I'm dating you now?" Draco said, smirking.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because you wanted a change..."

"Shut up Hermione."

"Sorry. Rambling."

Draco shook his head in laughed.

ANYway. I'm going to cut all the rubbish. I think I'm in love with Blaise Zabini. There I said/thought it.

"What's up Blaise? You seem quite."

"Naah, I'm fine."

"Okay..."

"We're going to lunch, we'll see you two, yeah?" Draco said, standing up and pulling Hermione by the hand.

"Okay. We'll be there in a bit."

Once they'd gone, I turned to Blaise.

"What is your-"

And then he kissed me.

! I GOT KISSEDD!

I looked at him.

"I-think-I-may-have-possibly-have-fallen-in-love-with-you!" he said, all in one breath.

That's what I was gonna' say!

"Hey! I was going to say that!" And then I slapped my hand over my mouth. Ooops.

He chuckled.

"Did I just..." 

"Yeah. You said that."

"Oh-"

"Nice to know you feel the same way." He said, grinning.

"Oh haha." I said, blushing.

"Awww, come on, we'd better go into the hall now. They're expecting us."

He pulled me up and dragged me into the Great Hall.

In the Great Hall, they had changed the tables, so thy were small, and round, and you could sit with who you wanted.

I sat with Draco, Blaise, Theo, Ginny and Hermione.

"Ooooooooohhh, Kim, why-"

"Shut up Ginny."

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Shut up Draco."

"Did you know-"

"Shhhhh! Hermione!"

"Sorr-rry Kim! Just because you want to remind yourself about that kiss-"

"Hermione! How did you-"

"Oooh, I can tell by the look on your face."

"Ooooohhhh! So are you two dating?" Ginny asked.

"I don't kno-"

"Did you know that a good foundation will cover all love bites. Not that I have any. Seriously."

**Hmmm...Is Hermione lying? Review! And I will continue the Dramione & Kimberley/Blaise & Theo/Ginny... And I will give you cookies! (_) **

**From my jarrrrrrrr! LOL! :L Enjoy&Review.**

**Ooooh, I went to see Beastly today. It was good...Spesh Alex Pettyfer - Oh my he is fit XD **

**PM or Review me with anymore quotes!**

**Thanks!**

**Bye!**

**And I apologise for spelling errors :D I wear glasses, so my eye-site isn't all that good :D**


	5. Cookieeeesssss part 2!

NO COOKIES?

" *gasp for breath* !" Voldermort yelled.

"Hey! You woke me up!" Yelled Kimberley.

"Sorry Kimboo. But I have sad news. We ran out of cookies!"

There were gasps from everywhere.

"Seriously!" Ginny said.

"No way..." Tho said (whilst holding Ginny's hand...)

"OMG..." Blaise cried.

"Shut up Blaise, you cry like a girl!" Kimboo said, slapping a hand over his mouth. Which he kissed. And then she giggled.

"Ugh. They're sooooooo soppy!" Hermione said to Draco.

"I know! We were never like that!"

"You were dear," Narcissa chimed.

"Wasn't!" Draco said, shaking his head .

"Denial!" Bellatrix sung.

Everyone laughed.

"Er, hello? People? More important matters to discuss! Like the fact we have no cookies!" Voldermort said, frustrated no-one was being sad at the fact he had no cookies.

"Go buy some then!" Kimbo shouted.

"I don't have any money! I spent it all on my £200 million billion squillon pound hairdo! Duh Kimboo!" Voldermort said, rolling his eyes at Kimboo's stupiness.

"Y'know, Hermione probably could have done the same spel for free..." Ginny muttered.

"Holy Shamoli! My money is gone! Luci-duci!" Voldermort screamed.

"What is it Voldie? And please don't call me Luci-duci..." he said, " that pet name is horrible."

"Soz dude! Anywhat. I need to borrow some money."

"Fine." 

Luci-duci handed over £92843957 million trillion etc, etc. pounds.

"Thanks dude!" Voldermort cried.

"You not going to pay me back, are you?" Luci-du- I mean the Luci-Dude said. All prissy and prossy.

"NOPE!" Voldermort laughed, and skipped off with his money.

"Lucuis, you are so gullable!" Bellatrix cackled, then flouncing off to find her hairbrush.

"Yeah, _hubby_! You should try to not fall for the Big Dude's evil plan!" Narcissa chimed in, nudging her husband.

"Big-Dude?"

"Voldy's new name," Hermione said.

Lucuis glared. He still wasn't that happy about his son dating a muggleborn.

"Father, stop glaring at my girlfriend. It doesn't do your eyesight any good when you give people the evils." Draco said, being the know-it-all for once.

"Hermione's rubbing off on you..." Blaise said, smirking at his best mate.

"Yeah, just you wait until you've passed the 3 week stage and Kimboo will be rubbing off on you!"

The two boys then decided to have a mini arguement.

"How come Ginny gets the quite dude?" Hermione said.

"Wait a minute! Where's Harry! I mean Hazza?" Kimboo exclaimed.

Everyone went silent. The had forgotton about the boy who lived.

"LAVENDER!" Everyone shouted.

Lavender had a habit of sneaking into the manor and trying to snog Harry, normally at night, when the other boys would catch her. But he was still sleeping now...

"ARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Someone (sounding a lot like Harry/Hazza Potter/Potty) screamed.

The Hexagon's (Kimbo, Hermione, Ginny, Blaise, Draco & Theo - The Hexagon's was the name they created 2 seconds ago to become a supergroup that saves the world) ran to Harry's room.

But by the time they got there it was too late. Well. They were too late. Pansy was superfast man!

Y'see. Pansy likes Harry. Harry likes Pansy. So Pansy decided to teach Lav a lesson. By stunning her and painting her face blue with permanent face dye.

The powers of love, eh?

**My arm killing after writing this!**

**Enjoy!**


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